2/13 Potluck: Just asking for a little romance!

[Karin Kallmaker]

I recently ran across the sentiment, "Girls aren't complicated. Is it so hard to tell us we're pretty and give us chocolate?"

Is romance that simple to you? Even if you're not the type of woman who wants the "pretty here's chocolate" message, what do you think? Or would some other gesture that would tell you you're loved and appreciated? What would be the thing someone could do for you that would you would find truly romantic? Is it a one-time thing, an annual thing, or an every day thing?

What's the most romantic thing you've ever read in a book? Seen on film? Heard about happening to someone else? Would you want it to happen to you?

Nibble that chocolate-dipped strawberry -- or whatever it is that's your Valentine's Day special treat - and share your favorite romantic moments at this week's potluck. I'll give you a reason to speak up -- the two posts that make me go "awwwwwwwww" the most will each win a copy of The Dawning, which is being re-released next week from Bella. It's a sci-fi story but loaded with romance, including risking love today in hope of a life together tomorrow. One book to a newbie (someone with less than 20 posts or so) and one to an oldbie.

Don't be shy! I'm a sucker for a romantic story. 

Karin

[xenaclark]

Man I hate being an olbie. I think I'm the olbiest though.

I love this and normally would post imidiately but I will have to give this some thought. Great subject Karen.

Nicki

[grlpwr]

Well Welcome Back Karin,
I thought we had done this last week...
In any event you have me thinking again and again!
Until then do enjoy..........

Pam

***scrumptious aren't they?  Pam says "these are my weakness....ooh yummy"***

[Ruth Perkinson]

Hey, everyone,

I love the topic, Karin.

To me, I love sparks, especially when they are gradual...like when you've known someone for many years and then suddenly the light turns on. Has anyone ever been a friend of someone's and then you're standing at a party or are watching a movie or eating pizza with other chums and suddenly you say to yourself, "uh oh!" that was weird...like a fleeting sexual feeling washes over you. The eye connection...you look at them, they look at you and...drum roll...ta dah...I'm in melt mode.

I love to spontaneously slow dance, too...so, if I'm with the right person and it's the right moment - I like to wrap my arms around her and hold tight...whisper sweet somethings in her ear, perhaps. Heavy breathing, heavy kissing, heavy touching...slowing it all down and then ramping it up.

That feels romantic to me.

Ruth

[KGrobler]

Karin, my partner owes you my admission that I was wrong. And I mean wrong for the past 8 years. This is truly amazing timing. I was sitting here thinking romance is not about what comes easily, not about what is second nature, but about effort, even in small ways, but yes, I want to know it everyday. And then it struck me - I complain about not feeling "loved", when I'm doing what is "easy", to show love, but not going to effort, when I complain about the very thing. My partner is currently in Ireland visiting her 84 year old Mother (been there for the past month), while I'm in England. But in my heart I knew that she's running away because of her inability to deal with our problems and two weeks ago we finally got to the point to admitting it. She kept putting off coming home and finally, after nearly having a nervous breakdown, I told her that if she's not here in a week so that we can talk about it, then I'm going back home to South Africa. (Don't worry, not all South Africans are such incredible insensitive b*tch*s!) Last night she phoned me, nearly hyperventilating and asks can I please book her a ticket (she hasn't got Internet), but please, just give her a chance to get here before I do anything drastic. (Yes, I know, I'm hanging my head in shame) And saying she has to go back to Ireland, but she'll sell everything if she has to and do what ever she can to look after me, but please, to come with her to Ireland (I'm not allowed to work in Ireland because they don't recognize same-sex partners) Now I'm in a state because it is 1 o'clock in the morning here and I have to wait to phone her (And no, she will not find it romantic if I phone her up now. Her Mother has had several strokes (Yes, my head is still hanging) and if the phone rings now, she will think the worst) So, I have to deal with the cramp in my belly and wait for morning to phone her and beg her for forgiveness.

I thought I'm a romantic. But sitting here, I realize what is romantic to me is not necessarily romantic for my partner. I'll lurk around in the thread and try and pick up tips, because clearly, I'd fallen off the bus somewhere and what criticism is to come my way, I more than doubly deserve.

This is better than therapy, KK. I would only have argued with a therapist and tried to justify myself.

// Bracing myself to press "post"//

[Tiffany]

My partner is a pretty quiet person. She tells me she loves me all the time, but she isn't much of a flowers-and-chocolate kind of person. When she does pull out the stops, however, she does it with a bang.

Donna and I had our Holy Union on April 12, 2003. My sister and my mother were going to be in attendance, but my dad (a computer consultant) was on a contract in Richmond, VA and my brother, who lives in Pittsburgh, didn't know if he would be able to get the time from work. It was heartbreaking, but I knew they loved us and would be there in spirit--so I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact they wouldn't be there.

The night of our rehearsal dinner, we were standing in front of the gazebo in our backyard with the pastor, talking with her and the rest of the wedding party, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and there stood my dad. Donna had secretly arranged with him to fly in just for our wedding and even worked with my mom to rent a tux for him so he could give me away.

I lost it...I broke into tears and flew into my dad's arms, sobbing uncontrollably. I had so resigned myself to the fact he wouldn't be there on the most important day of my life, I just fell to pieces.

So when I finally pulled myself together, we went on with the rehearsal. After we finished, I talked to the pastor for a few minutes by myself after Donna said she was going back into the house to check on something.

About five minutes later, I heard her calling me, saying, "Honey, I need you for a minute." I looked back at the house and there she was...standing next to my brother. Not only had she arranged for my father to be there for our wedding, she had secretly worked for weeks with my brother as well to make sure my entire family would be there on our wedding day.

Other than the day our daughter was born, it was the most wonderful day of my life.

Being with someone who makes you feel like the most priceless, precious treasure in the world is, to me, the purest essence of what romance is all about.

[Karin Kallmaker]

Karin, my partner owes you my admission that I was wrong.
This is better than therapy, KK. I would only have argued with a therapist and tried to justify myself.

// Bracing myself to press "post"//

I'm so glad that you posted! And who says talking about books doesn't bring out the inner work we all may need to do? It's really a big "aha!" to realize what you think would be romantic doesn't mean a thing to your partner -- so who is really being pleased by the action? Best of luck to both you and your partner, K.

Karin

[Karin Kallmaker]

My partner is a pretty quiet person. She tells me she loves me all the time, but she isn't much of a flowers-and-chocolate kind of person. When she does pull out the stops, however, she does it with a bang.

I'll say! What a wonderful story, Tiffany. Thanks for sharing it!

Karin

[Towanda]

Karin,

Thanks for allowing me to share this story. Thanks for bringing it back to my memory where I had already buried it. Thanks for making my Valentine’s Day a better one.

A few days before we met in Phoenix last year, I went to Boston and Cape Cod area. Not driving was a problem to move from a place to the other but I managed to get to Provincetown. Such a relaxed atmosphere with lots of women holding hands openly. It was quite warm so I tried to avoid the sticky heat and look for air-conditioning places. But it was unavoidable. Such a high temperature had to bring water and a big storm started around 4 O'Clock and lasted the whole evening. My boat to Boston was leaving after 6 so I had to hurry with all my errands. Tshirts, books at “Now Voyager” and some postcards. Finally, I had to rush to the boat.

The boat was one of those modern big ones and it was packed. Just in the middle of the area where the seats are, there was a big guy lying on 3 or 4 seats making noises. Just in one of the corners of that row, there was a woman. She apparently looked on her own and I could see a free seat next to her. The boat was sailing and the storm was heavy outside. Lightnings, thunders, heavy rain. My thoughts went to promise myself I should take a swimming course when I returned home.

Off I went to that place and asked if the seat was taken. The woman did not reply. Just nodded. So, I sat down. It was dark. The only lights came from the lightnings. I looked at her and what I could see was that her hair was short and blond, her nose was straight and small and was dressing very casual. As she had to get up to let me in, I noticed that she was tall. I started to talk. I could not help it. I need to say something. I was feeling nervous, the boat, the guy next to me and her were kind of intimidating me. All kind of silly things started to come out from my mouth and she seemed not to understand me or to pay any attention. Then, I said: “As I have just arrived from Spain, I cannot manage very well with directions” She moved slightly and her eyes looked at mine directly. I froze. She had the most beautiful blue eyes I had never seen. Not very wide but the deep kind. A hint of interest from her helped me to keep my talking and she started talking. Her voice was clear, not deep and had a pleasant tone. Her mouth was beautifully shaped and her teeth were extremely white. I'm just a Minnesota girl, she said, who once went to take an Erasmus course to Spain and fell in love with your country. She started speaking to me in Spanish with a delightful Castillian accent. Mary went to study Spanish Literature and fell in love with a Spanish woman.

While the storm was hitting the boat as a small nut, we moved sometimes violently. I was afraid that they guy who was lying next to me, would end with a broken neck against one of the walls. The boat was getting us closer and closer but we did not seem to mind. Our hands touched more than once and an electricity current run all over my spine. We jumped from a subject to another one all the time. It seemed our trip would not end, nor the time we were spending together. Even though it was dark, we seemed not to care and the Minnesota girl's eyes were bright and playful and inviting. We were like two trains crossing in the middle of a plain, without much time to be together but absorbing all our ideas and experiences. I felt I had known her an entire lifetime and did not want to leave her behind.
 
Suddenly, the boat called the Boston port and we kept silence for a few seconds. It was over, wasn't it? Her life was waiting for her outside. Somebody was picking her up and we had to say goodbye. But those endless minutes of that trip will be in my memory for ever. She said goodbye with a kiss  and … I won't forget it either. How warm and soft and delightful may be, the kisses from the Minnesota's girls.

Carmen

Note: As for films, I think "An Affair To Remember" is a beautiful love story, "The Apartment" is a great movie and I feel identified with Jack Lemmon all the time and "Imagine Me and You" if we have to talk of recent ones.

Romance in books. Gosh. This is difficult. "Wild Things" has got a love story that made me dream or "The Kiss That Counted" as one of your last novels; "The House on Sandstone", "Mulligan" by KG MacGregor;  "The Cottage" by Gerri Hill and many, many more.

[Tilly]

That is a really sweet story, Tiffany. Thanks for sharing. 

I love hearing about happy couples. Any couples, gay or straight. Seeing a really happy couple no matter how long they have been together is heart warming and life affirming. 
In the same vain I hate hearing about breakups. Always makes me sooo sad when people break up or external forces prevent a couple from being
together.

I know all couples go through tough times with each other and that not everything is peachy, but being single myself and really wanting to meet that special someone,  I tend to see the grass quite a bit greener over on the couples side than on my singles side.   
Gives me reason sometimes to grumble about the inequities of life cuz I'm single. 
I'm just being a spoiled brat.  I've got a job, a home, food on the table, the best dog in the world and I'm reasonably healthy, so I don't have a valid excuse to grumble about anything.   

[Tilly]

As for winning books as a newbie, I'd better stop posting, I'm already a junior and I just signed on a couple hours ago.     

[xenaclark]

OK here goes. Just a little about myself first. Those who know me can obviously tell that I am what we refer to as a tweener. I am neither butch nor femme. I fall somewhere in the middle. I like to pay when we go out to meals and hold open doors. I would tend to lean to butch but there is something somewhere in my that sometimes thinks about what it would be like to wear make up and dare i even say it, a dress. OK. I know some of you might be laughing by now but in the past few years I have actually designed a few dresses. I have no idea what has come over me. But on to the romance. See that is the problem I'm not that romantic. Oh I can do romance but to have it done for me just puts me in a state of unease.

The first time I met Stacy was actually six years ago yesterday. We had been talking on line and decided to finally meet after two months of talking. I had planned to go to take  her to the beach. I love the Oregon coast on spring and fall days. They are cool and crisp and sometimes the air can be so full of moisture it just hangs in the air.

It happened to be overcast the day we arrived at the beach. We checked into the hotel and had a corner room but no balcony. We put our bags in the room and took off for a nice long stroll along the beach. I asked her if she wouldn't mind staying out for a few minutes. I ran back to the room and set up my preparations. I had cut out fifty hearts in red and pink paper and bought a few bags of Dove dark chocolate in the shape of hearts (Dove is Stacy's favorite). I placed them from the entrance of the walk way pointing to the door with a piece of chocolate on each heart. Inside the room I had lit about 30 white and red candles and placed them around the room. I opened a few windows to allow the sounds of the waves crashing against the sand to float through the room. I then went and drew her a nice hot bubble bath that had more candles to light the bathroom,and set out a brand new big red fluffy towel. When she was relaxing in her bath I prepared a meal. We had chicken with a side salad and I had cut up some fruit and cheese to have with the wine after the meal. We made love for the first time to the sounds of those waves and fell asleep wrapped in each others arms. In all the years before I met Stacy I had never been able to sleep wrapped around anybody.

See I am not a fan of chocolate or wine but these are things she likes and I wanted to make her happy. We still have two of the candles plus the heart cut outs from that first night.

Now for me I think a perfect valentines day would be for me to come home and have a nice warm beverage sitting on the coffee table and a big fluffy blanket on the couch next to my book. I enjoy it when me and Stacy cuddle and I will read and she watches television.

I might post again later about a book or movie but right now I'm a bit tired. Its been a long night.

Nicki

[xenaclark]

As for winning books as a newbie, I'd better stop posting, I'm already a junior and I just signed on a couple hours ago.     

Don't worry Tilly its when you get here not when you leave. I mean look at my number of posts. and I only started two days ago.

LOL. Ok so thats not true but I can't seem to stay away.

Nicki

[Tilly]

OK here goes. Just a little about myself first. Those who know me can obviously tell that I am what we refer to as a tweener. I am neither butch nor femme. I fall somewhere in the middle.

Nicki

Ooohh, a woman after my own heart..... 
Only, I saw your profile and you are way too young and obviously happily hitched. 

Loved your story. It's really romantic and cute. Sounds like you and Stacy are a very happy couple. 

[xenaclark]

Thank you but what do you consider young. You have to remember that age is just a number. I find older women much more attractive. And women in glasses is a bonus.

Nicki