FRESHMAN YEAR

For almost an entire semester, Tess Stanford managed to avoid all contact with Dr. Morgan. This was a blessing, considering Dr. Morgan’s notoriously awful reputation.

Technically, Tess was in Dr. Morgan’s class, as the woman’s name was listed on her class schedule. Dr. Morgan ran the introductory chemistry lab. She designed the class, developed the experimental protocols, wrote the grueling pre- and post-lab worksheets, and did all the final grading. She did not, however, teach. Rather, a collection of chemistry graduate students ran class time. So, Tess, like most of her fellow undergraduate classmates, had never actually seen Dr. Morgan during lab time. This was because the professor avoided freshmen like the plague. And yes, Dr. Morgan would argue, there was statistically significant evidence to suggest that freshmen did indeed carry more diseases than the average upperclassman.

Even though she did her best to avoid students, her horrid reputation preceded her. Therefore, everyone on campus knew of Dr. Morgan, and it was because of this reputation that Tess learned about the professor the first day she moved to campus.

Once the new freshmen were settled in their dorms, their RA called a floor meeting to address the agenda of the coming days. The freshman dorms were grouped mostly by major, to encourage connections in shared classes. Tess was a biology major, interested in pursuing research work, but she was lumped in with the other biology majors, most planning to pursue medical school. All first-year biology majors were required to take Introduction to General Biology, Introduction to General Chemistry, and the associated intro labs.

Because their RA was a chem major herself, when questions about the location of the intro chemistry lab came up, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “You all have to take the intro chem lab, don’t you? I’m so sorry.”

“Why? Is it hard?”

“It’s Dr. Morgan. Have you heard about her yet? She’s the devil. She’s the lab coordinator, so she doesn’t teach, but she does all the grading. I’m not supposed to say this, but I will anyway. She’s an ass. She takes off points for the dumbest things, and any misstep in the lab, even something inconsequential, they’ll kick you out. They don’t give you any missed labs either, and if you’re more than a minute late, they lock you out, no second chances.”

Everyone fell silent. Tess glanced around the room, noting that all the premed students were visibly pale, mourning the death of their perfect GPAs. Tess wanted to be optimistic, but the class sounded like a real pain in the ass…just like this Dr. Morgan person.

“No, no, I didn’t mean to scare you!” their RA quickly said. “Tons of freshmen survive that class every year and we have hundreds, probably, of students that move on to med school, so it’s totally fine. You might leave with a few extra gray hairs, but you’ll survive.”

However, despite this initial introductory warning to the bio-chem professor, three weeks passed before Tess even saw Dr. Morgan.

Tess was adjusting to college life by then. She’d made a couple of friends. Her bond was solidifying with her roommate, Kai, and there was a growing friendship with one of their floormates, Elle. Elle, too, was premed, so they shared classes, but she was already casting longing glances toward the English department.

“Just switch majors,” Kai said.

“But what job could I do with an English major?”

“Ask them about it,” Tess suggested. “I bet they have a whole list of careers you can do with an English major. Lists sound like a nerdy lit thing to me.”

“You’re rude.” Elle laughed. “But yeah, maybe I can convince my parents that it’d be a lucrative career choice.”

“Lucrative,” Tess repeated. “You already sound like an English major.”

“Omigod, stop!” Kai yelped, suddenly grabbing both Tess and Elle, jerking them to a halt.

“What?” Elle asked.

“That’s her,” Kai exclaimed breathlessly, pointing across the quad.

“Who?”

“Dr. Morgan!”

Tess followed Kai’s line of sight, scanning the crowd, trying to make out which person was the notoriously awful professor.

“Where the hell are you looking?” Elle asked.

“She just came out of the chem building carrying a huge cardboard box.”

Tess’s eyes landed. Yards from them, on a different sidewalk, a woman stalked along carrying a massive cardboard box. Her hair was a dark brunette, pulled into a tight bun, and she wore a dark woman’s suit. Sure, she looked professional, and perhaps a bit intimidating, but Tess was more surprised than anything.

“Wait, that’s Dr. Morgan?” Tess asked in full disbelief. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m positive. I looked her up online. That’s definitely her.”

Even though Dr. Morgan was far from them and Tess could not make out subtler details, it was clear that Dr. Morgan looked nothing like what she had been picturing. She expected someone old and grouchy, a get-off-my-lawn type of old woman. Or maybe she’d pictured a warden of corporal punishment, ruler in hand for smacking students, her face ugly with a big, knotted nose. Or maybe she’d have fangs, and scales, and devil horns! Instead, Dr. Morgan appeared far younger than Tess expected, and she was striking, both in her looks and the way she carried herself.

Tess barked out her observation, stating, “But she’s so—so young. And—and hot.”

Both Kai and Elle stared at Tess curiously.

“Come on, don’t look at me like that. I know the rumors. But you can’t say, objectively, that she isn’t good-looking.”

“I mean, if you’re into older women, I guess,” Elle said with a shrug.

“Yeah, I mean, I guess I can see it,” Kai agreed. “But I wouldn’t dare try to compliment her. I mean, look.” She gestured emphatically, and Tess turned back to watch Dr. Morgan.

Another student walked down the sidewalk toward Dr. Morgan, head down, looking at his phone. Tess couldn’t imagine, despite Kai’s urging, that it would be a problem. The sidewalk was plenty wide enough for multiple people. However, it quickly became clear that it wasn’t wide enough for Dr. Morgan and another person.

The professor glared at the student. She yelled something—Tess could see her mouth move but couldn’t hear—and the boy startled. He stopped, realizing who was approaching, then spun and sprinted away in the opposite direction. Other students noticed the commotion and also changed their trajectories to avoid Dr. Morgan. As Dr. Morgan continued, students parted around her, giving her a wide birth.

“Dang, she’s terrifying,” Elle uttered, shuddering.

Tess blinked, trying to process. “She’s…bewildering…”

“You’re treading on dangerous water,” Kai said. “Sure, she’s young—”

“I heard she’s a kid genius, skipped a few grades,” Elle supplied.

“And yeah, maybe she’s got a good figure,” Kai continued. “But with all the things I’ve heard about her, she is not worth it.”

Tess considered the rumors she’d heard. Some of them, maybe, could be true, but surely most were made up. “What all have you heard?” Tess pulled her friends along as she continued walking.

“Well, I heard that the bio and chem departments, because she’s in bio-chem, right, scheduled their weekly department meetings around Dr. Morgan without telling her, because they were hoping she wouldn’t notice and wouldn’t show up.”

“I heard they deleted her from the department email list because they were sick of her showing up to events and ruining them,” Elle said.

“I heard that Dr. Glower switched departments—and his entire tenure research plan—because his office was next to hers and he kept bumping into her until it was too much for him to handle.”

“She only teaches graduate courses because none of the undergrads will sign up for her classes.”

“That can’t all be true!” Tess finally said. “I mean, if she’s such a bad professor and everyone hates her, then how come she’s still got a job?”

“Tenure stuff, I assume.”

“Yeah, she’s a crazy genius,” Kai said. “I don’t know much about her work, but I do know that she brings in a ton of funding and good rep for the school. That’s why they’re keeping her around, I’d imagine.”

“I find it hard to believe,” Tess admitted, “that someone could get this far being such a horrid person.”

“She might not have always been bad,” Elle suggested. “Some people get bitter with age.”

“It doesn’t matter, because she’s a horrid person now,” Kai concluded.

Tess glanced back over her shoulder, hoping to see Dr. Morgan once more. However, the professor was gone.

Tess set her gaze straight ahead. She wasn’t sure if she believed the rumors, but she also didn’t feel inclined to go out of her way to purposefully disprove the rumors, either. So, she decided it would be best to ignore the professor entirely.

And she did avoid Dr. Morgan…for almost an entire semester.

* * *

One more class…five finals…and then a monthlong break. That was all Tess was thinking about. It was bitterly cold outside, single digits with an even lower windchill. Day-old frozen snow covered the ground, piled where the sidewalks had been shoveled. Chilled to the bone against the frigid icy air, Tess fought her way across campus. She had tunnel vision for the warmth of the chemistry building and even contemplated breaking into a run, she was so desperate for relief.

Before she could, though, someone burst out of the chemistry building and Tess abruptly stopped. Ahead of her was Dr. Morgan, muttering angrily to herself as she stomped forward. Tess was frozen in place, too shocked to even remember the cold.

Dr. Morgan turned a sharp corner and ran straight into a boy who was running toward the warm relief of the indoors. When they collided, the boy tripped into a frozen snowdrift, falling flat on his face. The papers and lab books he had been carrying were cast out in a desperate attempt to use his hands to break his fall, and they all landed in the snow as well.

Dr. Morgan snarled. “Watch where you’re going, you blind imbecile!”

The boy struggled to collect himself while Dr. Morgan just stood there, doing nothing to help. She huffed, tapping her foot, as if the collision inconvenienced her more than the poor struggling boy. Then she turned, staring straight at Tess, who was frozen a few feet away, watching with her mouth agape.

“What are you staring at?” Dr. Morgan harshly asked.

Tess blinked, coming back to her senses. She shook her head, trying to avoid confrontation, and stepped back as Dr. Morgan roughly shoved past her. Tess watched her storm off, still too shocked to process. Once the devil was gone, she turned to the snow-covered boy.

Tess extended her arm, helping the boy to his feet. Silently, she helped collect his papers. He gathered his things from Tess, shaking not from the cold, but with fear, and then nodded in silent thanks before running off.

Once he was gone, Tess looked back in the direction Dr. Morgan bolted. She pursed her lips, frowning slightly, and thought to herself what a horrid, horrid woman Dr. Morgan was.

* * *

Tess spotted Elle across the quad and ran to her, darting between students bundled in coats. They were a week into the spring semester, the January air still frigid. She called out to Elle, who was nose-deep in a book, grasping the object between her mittened hands.

“Elle! How are you? How was your break?”

“Oh, Tess,” Elle replied jovially, glancing up. “It was great. I got to go home and see my family, but most importantly, see my dog. Was your break good?”

“Yeah, not bad. I also went home to visit family. My brother was annoying as usual, but he’s not quite as bad now that we’re getting older. What’re you reading?”

Elle flipped the book over in her hands. “Just a book Dr. Greenwood let me borrow.”

“Wait, isn’t she the dean of the English department or something? You had a meeting with her, right?”

“She’s the associate dean, actually, but yes. I have officially picked up an English major.”

Tess was well aware of Elle’s interest in literature. In fact, she had, with Kai’s help, been part of the urging force to get Elle to email Dr. Greenwood in the first place.

“Well, congrats, although I think you’re crazy. A science and English major.”

“I’m definitely going to be busy, but it’ll be good. Dr. Greenwood said she’ll be my mentor, and she’ll help me out. We’ve already talked a few times, and we kind of have this book club thing going on now? She lets me borrow a book, I read it, and then we just talk about it.”

“Tell me about her. What’s she like?”

“Well, her office is in the back corner of the English department building. That building is a straight-up maze. The corridors are claustrophobically tight, and they wind around in the most confusing ways. But in the back corner, the building opens up a bit, and there’s Dr. Greenwood’s office. She’s got a Freddie Mercury poster on her office door.”

“Good taste,” Tess said, amused.

“Oh, I haven’t even gotten to the best parts yet. Dr. Greenwood is a full-on character, and I mean that in the most admirable way. She’s, um, like an eccentric off-grid aunt who does pottery and presses flowers in her field notebook, jotting notes into the margins of her well-loved books. She’s got long gray-silver hair, usually pulled back into a loose ponytail, and she wears all sorts of bright colors and, frankly, gaudy patterns.

“Her office is exactly like her, vibes unparalleled. Every wall, except for the window and where her desk is, is covered in floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. She’s got a bunch of old rugs covering the floor, all in clashing colors, overlapping and slightly ajar, and there’s a super comfy sofa near the window with a mismatched and worn chair, both probably from two entirely different decades.”

“She does sound like a character already. Clearly, though, you also meshed with her personality.”

Elle nodded eagerly. “She’s super nice. She was very excited about my interest in picking up an English major. She feeds my passion for literature, gets me excited about books and storytelling all over again. She’s very inspiring.”

“Well, clearly, she’s already got you reading and discussing books for fun.” Tess pointed at the book Elle was holding again. “What book is that, and why did she pick it out for you?”

“It’s Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Fienberg. She said she teaches it in her upper-level queer lit class. I can’t take it as a freshman, otherwise I probably would have signed up, but she said I absolutely have to take the class and, unable to wait, is letting me get a little preview of the material.”

Curious, but mostly impressed, Tess stated the obvious. “So…she’s gay.”

Elle gave a knowing look. “It’s probably why we hit it off so well. I mean, the Freddie Mercury poster was kind of a sign, but that could go either way. But when I was sitting in her office just looking around at the books she had…I mean, she has all the classics, obviously. But there were also a lot of books of very…queer origin. She loves her books hard. I mean, every spine was cracked, the covers were worn and flaking, and there were so many note markers sticking out that the books all swelled at their seams.”

“Okay, she’s just as obsessed with literature as you are. I get it. But coming from my smaller hometown, I’ve never encountered an openly queer professor before, so this is huge for me. Does she lead any groups, or can she mentor anyone?”

“She’s very vocally queer on campus, despite all those old fuds on the board or whatever that hate it, which is another reason why I admire her so much. She’s so visible. She’s got a progress rainbow flag on her desk, and she wears a pin, and she has no hesitation talking about gay stuff all the time. That was actually how I found out about the queer lit class she teaches, because, you know how I can’t keep my mouth shut, I just blurted out, ‘I’m getting some pretty queer vibes from this office.’”

Tess laughed. “I assume she took your bluntness well.”

“She did, thankfully. She said it was her intention to be so vocal and obvious about it, so she could create a safe space on campus for students like us. It feels really nice knowing her, that I can feel safe around her.”

“And when are you taking her queer lit class?”

“Next year. It’s only offered in the spring and usually it’s only open to juniors and seniors, but Dr. Greenwood helped arrange my schedule so I could pick up some additional English classes over the next year so I’ll have all the prerequisites to take it.”

“You’ll have to tell me all about it and how it is.”

“I will, definitely. You should take the class too. You need an English credit to graduate anyway, why not take a fun queer class?”

“Well, with my science workload, I certainly won’t have time to take it early. But maybe junior or senior year, like you were saying. If it fits my schedule.”

“In the meantime, I’ll just tell you more about how amazing Dr. Greenwood is.” Elle looped her arm over Tess’s shoulder, moving her as they began walking together.