Chapter One

Jackie frowned at the reception room clock. Three o’clock, and still no Dana. She noticed that Vera was watching her. “I guess I’m anxious,” she said quietly.

Carin, her arms full of files, looked up from where she was standing. “Are you waiting for someone?” She smiled at Jackie.

“Just a friend. She should have been here hours ago. But on-time airline arrivals are one of America’s greatest oxymorons.” Jackie looked at the door again, willing it to open.

“I agree. Why the last time Darrel and I flew—we were going to see my folks in Atlanta—we were stranded for hours in the airport. Some kind of engine problem. I thought that man of mine was going to tear some heads off. I kept telling him to calm down, but he just fumed. When we finally got out of there, I bought him a drink on the plane, just to calm his nerves.” Vera smiled at Jackie and then added quietly, “Don’t go tearing anyone’s heads off, okay?”

“Not likely.” Jackie studied the file Vera had handed her, but her mind refused to focus on the lab report. All she could think about was Dana and the endless airports they had shared. Their jobs often kept them on opposite continents. She and Dana had been together for three years, although added together in real time, it was only two years. Jackie hated the separation. During the long months apart, their only link was an international telephone that often crackled and hissed. Dana intensified her life the weeks they were together, yet Jackie’s energy ebbed with each departure, fatigue settling comfortably around her like a woolen shawl. They had talked on the telephone the night before—Dana from her hotel in Europe where she’d been on a photo assignment, Jackie from their home on the bold coast of Maine—and tried to coordinate their schedules. If everything had gone according to plan, Dana would have been at the clinic by nine a.m.

Vera smiled. “She’ll get here.”

Jackie willed herself to concentrate on the file. She looked up only when she heard the clinic door open.

“Hi.”

The frown on Jackie’s face dissolved into a smile. “Hi, yourself,” Jackie said quietly. A tsunami of emotions washed over her as she looked at her lover.

Vera watched Carin’s expression change as she took in the beauty of the woman standing at the door. She read Carin’s reaction as her eyes took in Dana’s designer jeans and white shirt, casual yet exotic. Dana would make a tattered flour sack look fashionable, Vera thought. “Oh, sweetie,” Vera jumped up and dashed around the receptionist’s desk even before Jackie had a chance to move. She hugged Dana.

“I’ve missed you,” Dana said, looking at Jackie across Vera’s shoulder.

“You’ve been missed,” Vera held Dana at arm’s length and then pulled her against her. “When did you get in?” Dana hugged her tightly and stepped back.

“A short time ago, I came directly from the airport.”

Dana untangled herself from Vera’s arms and gave Jackie a sisterly hug. “I’d love to talk to you in your office.” Dana pushed her fiery-red hair off her forehead.

Carin noisily set the files she had been holding on Vera’s desk. She looked from Vera to Jackie.

“Oh, I’m forgetting my manners. Dana Bradley, my nurse Carin Chase,” Jackie said.

“How do you do.” Dana extended her hand.

Carin took Dana’s hand, “Pleased to meet you. Are you visiting the area?”

Dana smiled, “Something like that.”

“I was just telling Vera and the doctor how my husband just hates flying. The last time I was able to get him on an airplane, I thought he was going to pop an artery—”

“Carin,” Vera interrupted. “We have patients waiting. Why don’t you see to it that Mrs. Clark gets set up in room one? Miss Danforth will be here in a few minutes, and let’s put her in room two.”

“Of course.” Vera could see the disappointment on Carin’s face.

Carin took the files Vera had handed her. “Nice to meet you. Hope we get a chance to visit while you’re here.” Carin smiled at Dana.

“That would be nice.” Dana said quietly.

“Go,” Vera ordered before Jackie could say anything. “I’ll have Carin get everyone set up; that will give you a few minutes.” She said it so only they could hear.

Dana kissed her aunt on the cheek. “Thanks.”

* * *

Dana hooked her arm through Jackie’s and walked toward the doctor’s office. “I have planned a more visual way of expressing myself once we are alone,” she whispered under her breath.

Jackie felt her passion awakening. She marveled at Dana’s unflagging resiliency. She had been on an airplane for hours, and yet she had an almost primeval energy.

“How long are you home for?” Vera called after their retreating backs.

Dana turned to her aunt. “Several weeks, then I am off to Greece. I have some exciting news to tell you, but later. I want to say hi first.” Jackie noticed that Dana’s green eyes crackled with energy as she looked at her.

Jackie stiffened when she heard the examining room door open and watched as Carin stepped outside. Dana let her arm drop down at her side. “The doctor will be with you in a few minutes,” the nurse said to the room behind her.

“Carin,” Vera called to the nurse. “Miss Danforth has just arrived. Should I send her back?”

“Please.” Carin smiled at Jackie and turned away from Dana. She walked toward the reception area. “Hope you have a nice visit,” she mumbled.

“Thank you.” Dana smiled at her aunt and then turned to Jackie and winked. Dana stepped inside Jackie’s office and pulled her in behind her. “I’ve missed you.” Dana said quietly.

Jackie’s knees trembled as Dana’s womanly smells enveloped her. Her mouth sought Dana’s, and passion climbed upward from her toes.

As her tongue sought Dana’s, her hands caressed her lover’s back. Submerged passion overwhelmed her, and she reached down and pulled Dana’s hips tightly against her. Her hands caressed the soft and familiar mounds, then pressed Dana against the door. Their kiss was familiar, demanding, reclaiming all those kisses of the past.

“I was so disappointed when I called the airport and they said your plane had been delayed.” Jackie breathed against her lips.

“Me too. If we keep going,” Dana said breathlessly against Jackie’s neck, “I’m going to say the hell with your patients.”

“I know.”

Jackie closed her eyes and tried to ignore the ringing telephone.

“I have a feeling that’s my aunt.” Dana stroked Jackie’s cheek. “She’s doing her best to interrupt discreetly.”

“I know. But I’m afraid if I let go”—Jackie looked deep into Dana’s eyes—“you’ll vanish again.”

“I’m not going anywhere, except home, into the bathtub and then into bed. Waiting for you.”

Jackie stepped back. She still felt a quaking in her legs. She picked up the telephone. “Yes?” she paused and looked at Dana, her cheeks flushed from the passion of their kiss. “I’ll be right there.”

Dana stepped forward and kissed Jackie lightly on the mouth. “See you tonight,” she said quietly, sliding her hands up Jackie’s shoulders and pulling her fervently against her. She kissed Jackie deeply, their tongues a familiar courtship. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Jackie shook her head as she looked at her lover. “You turn my sanity into insanity.”

“Good. I plan to do that for the next few weeks.”

Jackie frowned. “I don’t want to think about your leaving again.”

Dana held up a finger to quiet her lover. “We won’t think about anything except this.” Dana reached down and stroked Jackie’s breast. “And this.” She let her tongue trace the outside of Jackie’s ear. Jackie shivered. “That’s all we’ll think about.”

“God, I love you.” Jackie said, her mind a whitecap of passion.

“What time do you expect to be home?”

Jackie had to concentrate as she looked at the clock over her desk. “I have to make rounds, around six.”

Dana gave her a puckish grin. “Good. I’ll be waiting.” She stepped forward and kissed Jackie on the lips and opened the door.

Carin, who was escorting young Billy Ferguson to an examining room, looked up as the door opened and again looked Dana up and down. A model’s body, that was what her lover had, Jackie thought. Long legs and a thin waist that traveled up to a beautiful face.

“See you tonight,” Dana said quietly

“Hey, Doc”—Billy Ferguson held up his bandaged hand—“Mom brought me back to see you.”

Jackie smiled at Billy. “Does it still hurt?”

“Heck, no. I just come cause Mom said I can’t play baseball till you say it’s okay.” Billy shifted impatiently behind Carin.

“I’ll put him in room three,”’ Carin said to Jackie. “Come on, Billy. Let’s get you ready for the doctor.” Carin opened the examining door and motioned Billy inside.

“Thank you.” Jackie ran her hand through her auburn hair as she tried to reclaim her professionalism. “See you tonight,” she whispered to Dana.

Dana smiled. “Can’t wait.” She pressed two fingers against her lips and touched Jackie’s cheek. “We may have to talk about staffing. Black hair, brown eyes, a great figure, and a Southern drawl, that’s a lot of packaging,” she quietly teased as she looked at the door Carin had just closed behind her.

“Never.” Jackie looked into emerald eyes. “Never.”

Dana laughed luxuriously. “I know that. That’s what makes this so wonderful.”

Jackie watched Dana walk down the hall and heard only muffled words as Dana spoke with her aunt. Jackie inhaled deeply. A trace of Dana’s perfume lingered behind. Anticipation of what lay ahead that night made her feel all liquidy. She shook her head. But for now, she thought as she buttoned her white lab coat, she would have to focus on burned hands and sick bodies.

Jackie looked up at the clock. Four p.m. Four more patients and she was out the door. She picked up the chart outside the examining room and frowned when she saw the name on it. She opened the chart and looked down at the cover sheet Carin had filled out. Pulse and BP normal. Temperature fine. Jackie looked at the line reason to see the doctor, but nothing was written in the space. She knocked softly on the door before stepping inside. Jennifer Ogden was leaning against the examining table, reading a magazine. “Hi, Jackie.” Jennifer smiled.

Jackie closed the door behind her. “This is a pleasant surprise.”

“I see that frown. I’m not sick, everything is fine. I needed to talk privately with you, and I figured this was the best way.”

Jackie set the chart on the examining table and looked at Jennifer. “Dana’s home.”

“Oh, Jackie,” Jennifer hugged her friend. “I’m so glad. For how long? The four of us will have to get together for dinner.” Jennifer paused. “But of course after you two have some time together,” she added gently.

“It’s just good to have her home. It’s funny…each trip makes the loneliness just that much harder.” Jackie held up her hands. “This is silly, I’m talking to you about me, and we need to talk about you. Why are you here?”

“Not so silly. We’re friends. What’s important to you is important to me. Dana so loves being a photojournalist.”

“I know.” Jackie’s mind drifted as she thought about yet one more trip to the airport, putting Dana on yet another plane as she flew off to some exotic spot. Jackie felt as if she were playing a part in a continuous-loop film. “Let’s talk about you.”

Jennifer ignored the examining table and sat down in the chair opposite Jackie. “I am so excited.” Jennifer jumped up and started pacing around the small room. “I need your help.”

Jackie waited patiently.

Jennifer looked directly at her. “I want to have a baby,” she announced solemnly. She sat back down in the chair again, “I—want—to—have—a—baby.” She said more slowly.

“That’s wonderful,” Jackie smiled back. “Have you talked this over with Kristan?”

“Absolutely. We’ve talked about this hundreds of times. She’s just as excited as I am.”

“I’m glad.” Jackie watched as Jennifer’s eyes glowed. “But why isn’t she here?”

“I wanted to surprise her.”

“Jennifer, this isn’t like adopting a puppy,” Jackie said solemnly. “We all need to sit down and talk about medical issues. There is a wonderful woman doctor in Boston, the best in the field of artificial insemination.” Jackie paused. “I assume that’s what we’re talking about.”

“Of course.” Jennifer jumped up again and started pacing around the office. “I just…” She stopped. “You’re right. Kristan should be here with me. I’ve just been so excited about surprising her, I didn’t think about this. Besides”—she pushed her long brown hair behind her ear—“I just wanted to make sure that my best friend and my doctor was with me on this.”

“Absolutely.” Jackie smiled and took off her glasses, placing them on the table. She could feel Jennifer’s energy. “I think we need to start with the three of us sitting down and talking. We can do that here, but I would prefer someplace else.” She chewed on the inside of her cheek. “Your house? This is too clinic-y for friends.”

“Great.” Jennifer hugged Jackie. “Let me know when. I don’t want to get in the middle of that mush-blush stuff you’ll be doing for the next few days.”

“Few days? Try a few weeks.”

“Right. I forget you two spend so many months apart that each return trip must feel like a honeymoon.”

“Something like that,” Jackie said shyly.

“Look, I’ve waited this long, a few more weeks won’t seem like an eternity.”

“We can do it sooner than that. Dana is going to want to go to Portland to visit with her family. I’ll beg off and we can sit down and talk.”

“Don’t do that. God, I don’t want to get in the way of even a minute of your time together.”

“It’s okay.” Jackie said gently. “This is very important.” She smiled mischievously. “Besides, I’ve never been an aunt before and am rather looking forward to it.”

“Godmother,” Jennifer interrupted gleefully.

“I would be honored.”

“It’s funny…when I fell in love with Kristan, I felt so lucky to be loved by that woman. But later I realized I was doubly lucky because I also got the neatest friend.” She hugged Jackie again. “Give my love to Dana. Call us when you’re ready for company. Promise?”

“Agreed.” Jackie hesitated. “And promise me one thing.”

“Absolutely.”

“Tell Kristan you were here and tell her what we talked about.”

“Of course, silly. I was planning on telling her anyway. I just wanted to get some of the fact-finding stuff out of the way first. You know Kristan, a typical newswoman, don’t bother her with the minuscule when she prefers to have the whole story.”

“But she would be hurt if you left her out of this part.”

Jennifer folded her hands in front of her. “You’re right. I was so wrapped up in wanting to surprise her that I was being selfish.” Jennifer cocked her head as she thought about what she had done. She hooked her arm through Jackie’s and opened the door to the examining room. “Come on, Doc, time for you to see your last few patients and go home.”

“No argument here.” Jackie stopped in front of the examining room where she knew Mrs. Clark would be waiting. “See you soon.”

“Promise. Call when you’re ready for company. In the meantime, I’ll talk with Kristan. She’s going to be as excited as I am.”

* * *

Jackie’s Mustang seemed to be on autopilot as it turned toward her home. Her tires spun on the gravel in her driveway. Dana’s rental car was parked in front of the garage. A vassal to routine, Jackie usually put her car in the garage before going into the house, but not tonight. She parked next to Dana’s rental, reached across the seat for her black bag, and quick stepped to the open front door. Without a word they kissed.

“When did you get this?” Dana reached behind her and picked up a puppy.

“A few weeks ago.” Jackie kissed her again, the puppy struggling between them as it tried to lick Jackie’s face. “I came home from work, and she walked out from behind one of the maple trees. She was dragging her left back leg, her fur was dirty and matted, and she was an absolute mess.” Jackie said between kisses. “But when she looked at me with those pathetic eyes and whimpered, I was a goner. I called Kristan, and she got the vet to make a house call. Anyway, the vet examined her and found that her back leg was hurt, not broken. She cleaned her up and, well, here she is.”

“It was so weird because this woman dropped her off just a little while ago, I thought she had the wrong driveway.”

“That’s Kathy. She runs the day-care center for dogs.”

“Day-care?”

Jackie blushed. “Kinda foolish. I don’t like her being alone.” Jackie looked wistfully at the puppy. “And because I didn’t want anything to interfere with our first few seconds together tonight, I called Kathy and asked her to drop her off.”

“She’s adorable.” Dana gave Jackie an amused look as she rubbed her face against the puppy’s soft fur. The puppy nuzzled Dana’s cheek. “What did you name her?”

“Bob.”

Dana looked at Jackie as if she had said a foreign word. “Bob. You named a little girl puppy Bob? You couldn’t tell the difference between a little girl and little boy puppy? It’s a good thing you’re not a vet,” Dana teased.

Jackie reached out and stroked Bob’s head. The puppy struggled to get free of Dana and into the arms of her owner. “I didn’t really look, and Bob just kind of popped into my head.”

“Bob.” Dana handed the still struggling puppy to Jackie. “She adores you.”

The puppy put her tiny paws against Jackie’s shoulder and snuggled against her neck. “Me neither.” Jackie looked down at the pup. “She’s kinda spoiled.”

“Good, and I’ll spoil her and her owner even more.” Dana traced a finger up Jackie’s arm.

Jackie put Bob on the floor and handed her her chew toy. The puppy tossed the tiny rubber bone in the air. “Here ya go, little guy. Right now you’re in the way.” Jackie drew Dana close until their bodies touched. She kissed Dana’s lips, a gentle, tender kiss that communicated the longing she had felt while Dana was gone. She took Dana’s hand and led her to their bedroom.

As she untied the string on Dana’s robe and kissed each patch of bare skin, she was intoxicated by her scent. Jackie marveled that she had survived without it for so long. Their first few minutes together was always the same. Jackie felt shy, trapped in a state of colossal confusion, but behind that was a primal need to be as close to Dana as she possibly could. Jackie clung to Dana, her trembling betraying her fear that her lover might simply melt away. It had been three months since they had been together, and all the romantic fantasies she had harbored while Dana was away erupted. No dreams tonight, she thought as they kissed. Jackie looked deep into Dana’s eyes and saw a volcano that matched her passion. She yanked off her own shirt.

“I need a shower,” she whispered.

“Later,” Dana said against her lips.

Jackie’s skin felt on fire. Dana’s hand reached up behind her back and unsnapped Jackie’s bra. Jackie impatiently shrugged the straps from around her shoulders, their breasts touching and then folding into one another, their warmth and softness seeking heat.

Jackie eased her tongue deep into Dana’s mouth. She began to lick and suck Dana’s lips as if she had to consume them. The heat of Dana’s skin bathed her throat, shoulders, and arms.

As she pushed Dana back on the bed, Jackie thought about what Dana had told her after the first time they had made love. She said she considered lovemaking the ultimate communication of trust, the gift of one’s body to a lover with absolute confidence that only goodness and pleasure would result.

Jackie felt the response of Dana’s body, and felt Dana draw in her breath as her hand reached to touch Dana’s waist. She knelt over Dana and kissed and sucked her breast. She savored the scent of bath soap and the salty taste of her skin. Her lips sought the sweetness of Dana’s breast, and she gently drew as much as she could into her mouth. Jackie felt a pulsing between her thighs.

Dana groaned. “God I’ve missed you.” She pulled Jackie to her and crushed her in her arms.

“I don’t ever want you to go again,” Jackie whispered. She was frightened by the fear that now consumed her, the fear she felt each time Dana came home, because each return meant another leaving.

“I love you,” Dana kissed Jackie. “I want you.”

Jackie responded with a deep long kiss. She stroked Dana’s breast, then traced a line along Dana’s thigh and felt a tremor like the sensation one gets when touching a railroad track. Dana reached down and pushed at the top of Jackie’s slacks. “I want to feel you against me,” Dana said. Jackie rolled over, unzipped her pants, and kicked them onto the floor. She slipped out of her panties and then rolled back onto her lover. Her tongue trailed downward toward Dana’s stomach.

Dana raised up on her elbows. “Let me, I want to touch you.”

Jackie couldn’t stop. “Later.” As her tongue kept up the same rhythm and she licked just below Dana’s navel, she marveled at how she had existed for three months without the closeness of this woman. And at the same time she sensed the blackness that would envelop her if Dana were to leave forever. She slowly eased the panties over Dana’s hips. Her tongue followed the movement downward. Then she reached the spot she had dreamed of for so many nights. She felt the rawness of Dana’s passion and the synchrony of their two bodies moving together.

It is now, Jackie thought, now that she had to draw Dana into a closeness that neither of them would ever want to leave. But in the back of her mind, an apparition of dread began to loom.

Dana moaned deep in her throat. “Oh yes.”

Jackie’s tongue stroked back and forth, light and hard, up and down, each move calculated to bring pleasure rather than climax. As Jackie teased the flower open before her, she realized that she was in danger. She knew that, like the sailors in the Odyssey, if she ate of this lotus she would never be satisfied with anything else. Then she lowered her head to Dana and consumed her. In a few moments they both were rocked by Dana’s passionate explosion.

Jackie collapsed next to her on the bed, feverish and scorched by the fire of their lovemaking. But she was also chilled by the irrational possibility that this might be the last time they made love. She did not know when Dana would leave again, but she knew it would be soon.

Dana touched Jackie’s breasts, her voice smoked with passion. “I’ve missed touching you.” She pulled Jackie to her and laid her on her back. She pressed her knee between Jackie’s thighs and sucked first one and then the other of Jackie’s nipples. The perspiration produced by Jackie’s vigorous effort had gathered under her breasts, and it was Dana’s turn to savor the salty flavor of love. As Dana stroked her gently with her fingertips, it was Jackie’s turn to tremble.

* * *

Twined in each other’s arms, Dana nuzzled closer to Jackie. “I miss this almost as much as the lovemaking.”

“Me too.” Funny, she thought. She felt so alive when their bodies were touching. “This bed feels so big when you’re not here.”

Dana leaned her head on her hand and stared down at Jackie. “I suspect now that you have Bob, you’ll have few empty-bed nights.”

Jackie gazed raptly into Dana’s eyes. “No way. I already told Bob that she sleeps on the floor next to our bed.” Jackie said. “Although,” she grinned sheepishly, “she’s so little that I do cuddle her a lot. And she really does like day care.”

“Day care,” Jackie watched as Dana shook her head again as she tried to accustom herself to the word.

“Yeah,” Jackie said, her cheeks a rich scarlet. She wasn’t sure how to describe how lonely she felt when she left Bob alone. Jackie understood alone. “I drop her off in the morning and pick her up in the evening. It works out quite well. She gets to visit with her canine pals.”

Dana smirked. “Day care. Although…?”

Jackie studied her lover’s face. She loved the way Dana’s eyebrow arched when she was mulling over a problem. “Although?”

“Well, I was going to save this until later, but I’m just too excited.” Dana sat crossed legged on the bed. “I’ve been offered something very exciting and although at first I was going to turn it down, I was able to negotiate some things and, well—”

“And, well?” Jackie repeated quietly. She could feel the tension in her stomach, uncertain what this latest announcement would mean to their lives.

“I’ve been offered a three-year photojournalist assignment in Greece working exclusively for their largest magazine. That means no more running around the world and, the best part, I negotiated for a house and you can live there with me. I checked with the consulate. Although there will be some hoops to jump through, you can practice medicine there. We’d be in the Land of Lesbos.” Dana’s face was flushed from their lovemaking and her excitement.

Jackie leaned up on her elbows. “Three years in Greece?”

“Yes, but you didn’t hear the best part. You can be there with me. No more two months together and then off on another shoot. This is three years together,” she added quickly.

Dana’s words seemed overpowering to Jackie. “We’ve never talked about my leaving. I’ve never thought about not being at the clinic.”

“But that’s the best part—this is not forever. And you’d be back in three years. This would give you a chance to do other things in medicine. You’ve talked about wanting to do other things.”

Jackie swung her legs to the side of the bed. “That’s just talk after a hard day. Everyone has their flash of should-would-coulda, but that doesn’t mean what if ever comes.”

“But it has come, darling. We’ve talked about being together all the time,” Dana touched Jackie’s arm.

“I meant when you retire. I was willing to put up with this fractured schizophrenic personal life because I thought someday you would tire of the travel and want to settle down here.” Jackie emphasized here with her index finger. “I thought you’d want to finish that photojournalism book you started. Honest, Dana, I never even considered that I’d be the one to leave.” Jackie suddenly felt weary.

“Don’t you want to be with me?”

“Don’t do that.” Jackie held up her hand as if to accentuate the silence. “You know I want to be with you every moment of our lives.” She gazed intently into her lover’s eyes and wondered if Dana knew how expressive they were. “I love you. You’re the first woman since Marianne died of cancer who has filled every space in my mind, soul, and heart.” Jackie paused. “I just never thought about leaving the clinic for that long a period of time.” Jackie stood up. “I don’t know, I just don’t know.”

Dana reached for her robe. “I’m sorry.”

Jackie saw the tears in her eyes, but felt too paralyzed to reach out to her.

“I shouldn’t have brought this up my first night home. But I was just so damned excited. I don’t know”—Jackie watched as she pushed her red hair still damp from their lovemaking off her forehead—“I’m sorry, truly sorry.” She reached out a hand to Jackie.

Jackie entwined her fingers in Dana’s. “And I’m sorry for reacting like I did. I just never expected—”

Dana took Jackie in her arms. “I know. The idea takes getting used to. Would you just think about it.” Dana held up a hand. “Just consider the possibility. Another country, a different kind of medicine and I’m not talking about practicing at a hospital for the rich, but doing the kind of medicine you love most. Just think about it, please? And…” Dana smiled. “You can bring Bob.”

Jackie laughed. “I’ll think about it. I owe it to us to do that much.” Jackie reached for her robe. “Come on, I’ll make us a scrambled egg sandwich.”

Dana grinned. “Never let it be said that I don’t have a knack for taking away the warm afterglow of love. Come on.” She tied the strings on Jackie’s robe. “I’ll make the toast.”